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| My sisters and I keeping it real |
I heard this beauty salon ad on the radio yesterday (during
COVID-19 pandemic): “As we shelter in place, now is the time to let your
natural beauty shine through.” Cue to my jaw-dropping, because here is one of
those random silver-linings of the pandemic: people—especially
women—discovering what they actually look like without make-up, hair dye,
polish, waxing, bleaching, exfoliating…insert every other imaginable “beauty”
treatment the cosmetics industry convinced us all that you need.
As a child of the Seventies, I embraced the concept of
“natural beauty” and have spent my life living it, despite suffering the
judgment of those who thought me unpolished. At 58 I've come by my grey hairs and laugh lines honestly; they reflect everything I've put into this time on the planet. In my younger years – it felt like
a cultural movement was afoot – we thought women would stop shaving their legs
like European women (sadly, European women copied Americans, and now it’s all
about removing hair from everywhere it can possibly grow on both men and
women). I found leg stubble so horribly uncomfortable, I was convinced society
could be trained to see that women’s legs could be as sexy as men’s, hair and all. Boy was I
wrong. In one particularly painful moment, I interviewed for a job as a
waitress during a youthful summer spent in Hawaii, and was told during the
interview that I’d have to shave my legs to get the job. Guess what? I shaved,
but then I didn’t take the job—and I have not shaved them since. (But truth: I
don’t bare them much in public because I hate the way people stare.)
Which brings me to the other reason I opted for the
“natural” look as I aged—it was a matter of economics. On average, women spend
$3000 annually just on cosmetics. As the single mother of two, that money was
always put to better use. The cosmetics industry is valued at over $500 billion
annually – that’s a lot of consumerism built on the notion that you can and
should look different than you do. We are capable of seeing beauty in so much
of the natural world, why do we hold humans to such a narrowly defined standard
of beauty? Why not accept, embrace and celebrate different hair, skin, and body
size and ask our culture to reflect that back to us?
One of my family members recently told me that she’s gotten many
compliments on her hair color since COVID began. She’s in her 40’s and her
grey-streaked bob is suddenly coveted by all the women who can’t dye their own
hair. Even at the social distance of 6’ they stop to admire her natural hair,
which until the pandemic garnered little attention. Even celebrities are “revealing”
their natural color—how great would it be for all women to celebrate their
natural beauty and then donate the money they’d spend on stylists to those
affected more harshly by the pandemic.
As the parent of two girls, I tried hard to counter the
messages they were bombarded with from the media (and my family) about how they
should look. Middle school was tough—kids start skipping meals to be thin, and
most experiment with makeup. My rule was no make-up till high school unless it
was a special occasion. My philosophy about makeup goes something like this:
“You are beautiful in this moment, inside and out. Cosmetics are simply a mask
and masks can be fun when you want to have some fun and change up your look.
But when the world can only recognize you with your mask on, they you become a
slave to both the cosmetics industry, and the idea that other people are
defining your beauty.” Fortunately, I had a couple of excellent visual aids.
The first was a neighbor girl we gave rides to who followed in her mom’s
footsteps—never leaving the house without full makeup and perfume (I had to ask
her to leave off the perfume when I drove). We knew her sweet face pre-makeup
and started to miss it instantly. We never knew what her mom looked like
underneath all the foundation, but what we did know was that the time it took our
young friend to get this look ALWAYS made us late to school!
My other indispensable tool was the issue of People or Us (I
forget which) that came out periodically showing celebrities without make-up.
This was game-changing for my kids. They were used to seeing their stars in
full make-up and could barely recognize the same celebs without it. That just
seemed sad to them, and combined with the time and expense all that fluffing up
cost, influenced their own decisions to keep things more natural.
I’m going to enjoy this silver lining as long as I can. I
will make a point of complimenting everyone I see on their beauty. I am under
no illusion that there won’t be a gigantic spike in the beauty industry once
this shelter in place is removed, but I do hope everyone gets a little closer
to embracing their natural look, it is so utterly freeing.
And here is a bonus movie recommendation if you made it this
far. We watched a movie on Amazon called Like A Boss. It’s a female buddy movie
with Tiffany Haddish and Rose Byrne playing best friends who own a beauty
business, but they advocate for letting their clients’ natural beauty shine
through, which I appreciated.
Also, bonus track, courtesy of Cathy S!
